Archive for March, 2007

Protecting One’s Peace

Yesterday, my daughter went to a wedding, and asked me to watch my little grandson. I usually have my youngest daughter with me or I’ll have the opportunity to watch him with his grandfather. Both of those experiences are cherished by me. I love grandparenting this little boy with my first ex-husband, who is also a very, very dear friend to me. And I love letting my youngest play with her little nephew, who adores her.

But his grandfather was invited to the wedding too. Last night was a one-on-one time, just my little grandson and me. It was wonderful.

First, I took him to a toy store to get him a bucket of Play Dough and appropriate cool tools for mashing, squeezing, and other assorted things to do. I, also, picked up a wooden pounding tool kit, with little hammer and pegs to hammer in. His grandfather gets him noisy electric toys. I favor the good old fashion wooden organic type toys. Either way, it is part of the grandparent charter to get your grandchildren toys that are capable of emitting the loudest noise possible. Of course, all items are to be kept at the parents’ home.

Then we went to the mall and had a pizza, making somewhat of a spectacle of ourselves in the food court. I didn’t care. I only had eyes for him, and we had such fun being silly with each other.

Then we went back to his house, and for a good hour, I rolled an assembly line of multi colored balls of various sizes, while he squeezed them, pounded them with a hammer and explored all the wonderful things you can do with the gooey, pliable stuff.

Then we made popcorn, and settled down to watch “Cars”. After a while, he leaned up against me and snuggling in my arms, fell asleep.

I was in heaven. For that moment, there were no causes, no deadlines, no concerns of whether I could make my bills or what I was going to do with my life. In that moment, it was just him and me.

I wish I could have slowed down more often when I was younger. But I know it’s easier now for me to do these things, not only because I’ve grown older and wiser and recognize and value the truly important things in life better, (although I’m sure it’s part of that) but because for the first time in my life I am no longer drawn into or involved in one drama or another. Because I have grown to recognize the importance of protecting my privacy, my peace. I’m not so anxious or willing to give that up to meet the needs or expectations of another. And I’ve done enough healing within me to no longer be attracted to those situations that are guaranteed to…well, suck the life out of me.

Whether through blood or people who just bleed you with mind games, lies, betrayal, invalidation, verbal, emotional or physical abuse, there are people who it is best advised to not stand in a crowd with, never mind alone.

They deprive you of those one-on-one times with the ones who love you best, who need you most.

I’m grateful for second chances. Need to forgive myself for lost first chances, and resolve to love and to protect my peace of mind, as an expression of that love, to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. My little grandson deserve that, and so do my children.

And so do I.

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“The Secret” is No Secret

I saw the DVD of “The Secret” a week or so ago and was rather disappointed, but not entirely surprised. There was nothing in this DVD that you couldn’t find in any New Age 101 book on metaphysics or creative visualization. The only thing that was truly original or unique was the marketing effort and getting Oprah’s seal of approval.

At least one of those interviewed has been a long-standing member of Unity Church, which teaches the law of attraction and visualization as a part of its overall spiritual teachings, and has done so for over a hundred years, making it’s publications, numerous books, pamphlets, tapes and services available to the general public. And many, many authors have written on this same subject for years.

The production wasn’t the greatest either…the television on which I saw it, toward the end of the DVD, the sound was slightly out of sync with the visuals, but enough to make it rather annoying after a while.

I’m bothered by the hype surrounding this DVD, and what I felt were slick manipulative production – the little visual “tricks” to try to get you to feel as if you were privy to a genuine secret – the whispering, designed to make you pay closer attention and feel like you were getting in on something, others weren’t. I was, also, taken aback by the selective logic – using Mother Teresa’s choice not to attend an anti-war rally but willingness to attend a peace rally, to illustrate the importance of seeing what’s positive and not what’s negative, totally ignoring the fact that this woman immersed herself into a sea of misery to help the poor. She didn’t address starvation by refusing to see the emaciated bodies or starving children.

And dismissing one’s hurtful past, with a “so what?” I appreciate not being fixated by the past, but I found it rather alarming to ask another to forget it, since by their own admission, it’s not only the thoughts you consciously hold but subconsciously hold that creates, or in their words, “attracts your reality.” So the “so what” would apply to the patterns of behavior, the definitions and expectations we have for life. Consider the person who believes or knows love as suffering asking for love. What do you think will be attracted to them, or more poignantly, be attracted to?

Also, those referring to leaving things in the past will, often, subscribe to the belief that there is no past, no present or future, that it’s all an illusion, that there is only now. If that’s so, then what is there to leave behind and where is “there” to leave it? The past, according to this belief, is really just as much a part of our present as anything we call the present. Would it not be beneficial then, to make peace and find resolution with this part of our being that we have conveniently tucked away in that space under our beds we call the past?

No Comments »Keeping the Dream