I don’t listen to the radio often, and I watch television even less. But when I’m in the car with my daughter, sometimes we’ll turn on the radio, and if it decides to work, we listen to some music. I’m not impressed. But I found a program I like listening to. It’s John Tesh “Intelligence for Your Life”. The music is your standard music, but it’s what he shares in between that’s uplifting, challenging and interesting.
Just the other day, I happened across his blog. This morning (I had to subscribe), I received his blog post, entitled “Having a Greater Impact on the Lives of Others” (in its entirety) in my inbox.
The message is the reminder to “start living outside of yourself”. But what really jumped out at me was this quote.
You can’t wait to get all your needs met before you notice the needs of others.
You know, I think I’ve been doing that – waiting to get my needs met. That somewhere along the road being a single mom and homeschooling my child, I’ve developed a kind of tunnel vision called survival.
Which is important, especially when you have a child, but there’s got to be more than that. And I think the growing frustration I’ve been feeling and the constant feeling of exhaustion comes not only from physical and emotional stress, but from feeling constricted.
Because I haven’t been writing or singing or recording. And I can’t remember the last vigil I sang at, and when I don’t allow myself to create and share in that creation, I die – slowly. Imperceptibly, perhaps, but steadily.
It’s not just a question of time, although that is a factor. And it’s not just about money, although being able to take care of yourself and your child is no small matter. But if I wait for all those things to be just so, then I may wind up waiting forever.
I’ve been away, from myself, from my art. I see the difference I make when I sing at vigils. I feel the difference in me. It’s been too long since I’ve brought my creativity to that healing place, to the hearts those songs were meant to touch.
And if I’m going to be homeschooling my child, if I’m going to be teaching her anything, I want it to be to live an authentic life. And there is nothing more real than to let the love flow in and through you in the way you were designed to.
It would be foolish…and selfish not to.