I will not be so afraid anymore.
This is one of the things I have learned. That despite all my assertions to wanting to share my writings and music, I am actually afraid to do so. Sabotage in all its forms from procrastination to just plain stupidity provides me that false sense of safety over and over again.
And the closer I get to actually stepping out into the spotlight, as it were, the more desperate my attempts to prevent that.
Not that I actually succeed in that all the time, mind you. I’ve performed and written articles and what not, quite a number of times. But I hold myself back from what I could do and travel to where I could go.
I travel at a snail’s pace, and recently, it’s been brought to my attention that I would even hurt myself than to become who I am meant to be. Crazy isn’t it?
But it’s not all that uncommon. Too many people who have so much to offer hold back.
But I will not be so afraid anymore. I am looking this beast in the eye. I won’t fight it. That’s another act of sabotage. I will look upon this part of my being with compassion.
Then perhaps, it will choose to come along with me as the healthy sense of survival and discernment it’s meant to be.