As if nothing happened

Written by on December 14, 2007 in The Healing Journey with 1 Comment

Time and space isn’t just a scientific concept. It’s a human need that begs to be met throughout our healing journey. Obviously, the triggers from the Megan Meier’s incident took me aback for longer than a day or two.

But I needed this time to recollect my thoughts, and more, to be gentle with my emotions that always seem to travel at a slower speed than my intellectual understanding.

And that’s okay.

What triggered me wasn’t just what I believe to be the stalking behavior of Lori Drew, the absolute refusal to accept responsibility or express remorse, but the ability to act as if nothing happened that they could be accountable for to the Meiers…to act as if they were caring friends and had been all along.

That’s the one dynamic out of all the convoluted ones, that managed to go beyond regular outrage to that dreaded place of flashbacks. It triggered memories, so close was it to the sound and smell and feel of what I had experienced in my childhood…when my father could transgress against me so heinously, betray me, and then relate to me as if nothing had happened…and expected me to “play along”. And I did.

By day I was Daddy’s girl. I adored him, and he treated me like I was special to him, and he was ever the “good” father, especially when others were watching. By night…

And here it was again, as I read how the Drew’s attended Megan’s funeral, invited the Meier’s to their daughter’s birthday party, commiserated and went through all the pretense of caring, concerned neighbors, as friends….all along knowing…

And these are different people from my parents, and there are circumstances that are so different, but the ability to hurt you and then act toward you as if nothing happened…. is what connects them together.

But something did happen. And it’s affected my life forever.

But you know what? At this point of my journey, I get to determine what that affect will be. I steer the course of my life, and even though there may be detours and set backs, my destination is set – I move toward greater empowerment, peace of mind and serenity. I move toward a greater unfolding of strength and vulnerability, a greater embracing of truth and love.

And that’s something.

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About the Author

About the Author: Greetings, fellow dreamer, and welcome! I’m Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist. Some of my creative projects are a CD of healing music, “For the Sake of Love” and a children’s book on the interconnectedness of life, “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” published by Illumination Arts. Currently, I’m in the process of creating podcasts for my book series on covert abuse. My commitment is to the creative process especially as it relates to the healing journey. Whether I’m singing at a vigil for asylum seekers, memorial for political activists or sitting around a table sharing tea and conversation with friends who just want to talk heart to heart, I am always deeply moved by the human spirit to love and live with authentic beauty. Thank you for being here, for reading my posts and/or listening to my podcast. There’s much to share, much to create and the journey has just begun! Meet you on the path. .

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  1. » Why This Hit Me So Hard RELATIONAL AGGRESSION and COVERT BULLYING: | December 14, 2007

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