Keeping the Dream

Well, I’m sitting here looking out my window at the snow. It didn’t snow as much as they called for, but my rather long shared driveway looks pretty undriveable for my car, and it doesn’t seem like the road beyond has been plowed but maybe once during the night.

I was to leave for D.C. this morning, but I’ve gotten various signs earlier this week that it’s probably for my best interest to stay home, and take care of myself. I’ve been running myself pretty ragged these days.

So I’m sitting here with my hot cup of tea and a big comforter around me, feeling sleepy and warm, happy to relax into the stillness of the morning with no where to go now. It would be nice if it wouldn’t take an act of nature or total exhaustion to give me these moments. I have a ways to go on this one.

Today didn’t turn out like I thought it would…just like the song I wrote for “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” didn’t turn out the way I thought it would. When I first wrote it, I thought of a sparsely arranged, light song with, perhaps, some children backup singers, maybe 10 or 11 years old.

One thing led to another, and I wound up having my little girl’s friends, all around seven years old, with one perhaps a few years younger. This gave the song a whole new sound, much younger, but also fresher and more fun.

Then Stacey, upon working with the finishing production of the song became inspired, and harmonizing vocals lines came in and a whole other counterpoint part of the song unfolded, with drums and bass and critters! (He told me from the outset, he thought it would be neat to have them in the song, and wouldn’t you know it he’d find the perfect sound effects CD just a day or so before final production?)

The resulting song is one that’s incredibly playful and just a whole lot of fun.

I’ve gotten better about going with the flow, trusting the process. I have found this to be very helpful in not only my projects, but in life in general. It’s not that I give up or not take responsibility for my part or start becoming complacent in the vision I hold. It’s just that I’m not fanatical about that vision any longer.

I not only take the steps to have one, I allow that vision to carry me to new places I would not have imagined or expected.

Life is more fun that way…and just a whole lot easier to live. Plus, it’s what happens when the vision you hold meets up with the vision someone else holds, and a beautiful partnership in that mysterious place we call “the process” happens.

I’ll be posting the song to “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” today…unless something happens and I don’t.

Blessings,
Demian,
~DreamSinger

You know, I was thinking the other night about the wonderful image of being a lamp on a hill, and letting your light shine. It used to be so important for me to fix this lantern of my life, to make it shiny and new, to at least mend the broken frame, change the wick.

To me healing would entail just that. I would be so transformed, so renewed that I’d be as good as new. No scars, no signs of the past…as if I had never been abused. That would be a miracle, wouldn’t it? And why not? To me, this kind of quantum leap is just what all this “God stuff” was about.

But life has a funny way of letting you know where you are, even, and perhaps especially, if you’ve been going through it with blinders. And eventually, I came to realize that for all my work, I was still “broken”. I’m an incest victim, a survivor of emotional and psychological abuse. You just don’t sail through that kind of experience. But still, I did “so much work….turned so much over to God.”

Oh, yes, I made some important changes, some significant ones…but not the extent I wanted or needed to free myself or benefit my children or spare them completely from the dynamics I inherited.

This was very depressing to me for a while, until one day, as often happens, grace came upon me and I had a very gentle realization that made me cry with its loving message. And this realization has traveled with me. Sometimes forgetting it and sometimes reaching out to it for support, comfort and strength.

Today, it comes to me again in another image. I look within and see that lantern sitting on a hill. And you know? It’s broken, the frames bent, the glass cracked and shattered in places. And the light shines through.

The miracle isn’t that you get all fixed up. The miracle of healing is that when you are willing to be more than who you are, you can shine right where you are. The light that is you and more than you, shines through any lamp. It only needs your good faith willingness.

I write my music, sing my songs not because I’m so wonderfully insightful or healthy. I do this because of the reality of what’s good, because of its strength and the tenacity of life. Life wants to live. It can manifest itself and bring its message of joy in some of the most barren places.

I look at me. I know what I face within, the love and the pain, the battle of angels and demons, and then I see the music I’ve participated in creating and the affect on others who hear, and I am filled with a sense of wonder.

This is the miracle. I am broken and my heart sings. If you do not see that, and hear only the beauty of the songs, then you’ve missed the point.

Don’t wait to become an oasis to start planting your seeds. Start planting them now. Right where you are, as you are.

Let your light shine.

Blessings,
Demian,
~DreamSinger

I can’t believe it’s December already!

This month is proving to be busy already. Just the other night, I actually finished a major editing phase of my manuscript on relational aggression, “Where There’s Smoke”. Dionna is getting her graphic for the cover ready, and I’m now taking a good look at the typesetting of the book, to make sure it’s consistent.

Hopefully, I’ll be ready to convert it to a pdf file by the end of next week…probably a few days after I return from the conference in Washington, D.C.

December 4th, Sunday, DreamSinger will be performing at a nursing home. (This was postponed to December 21)

December 9th and 10th, I’ll be attending the National Association for Education of Young Children annual conference in Washington, D.C. for a book signing with my publisher, Illumination Art.

December 17th, 11:00 A.M. ,Borders, Eask York, PA across from the Galleria Mall, I’ll be doing a reading of “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes and a book signing. I’ll also be performing DreamSinger’s new song by the same name, based on the book.

December 18th, 10:30 A.M., DreamSinger will participating in the Christmas Service at Unity Palmyra, 10:30 A.M.

Hope to see you at one of these public performances. DreamSinger is starting to line more things up in the upcoming year, and I’ve also decided to commit myself to doing a weekly podcast starting in January.

As you go through this very busy season, try to remember to slow down and remind yourself of what’s important. Time slips by so quickly. It’s good to savor each moment, as the precious gift it is.

Many blessings,
Demian,
~DreamSinger - Healing Songs