Keeping the Dream

The past several days I had my nephew, daughter and grandson-through-marriage with me (daughter’s marriage). It was really wonderful to be with these three fine young people, but there was a pattern to their talk and play that I found rather disturbing.

It was the presence of violence. Even in their playful banter the words they used, the images they invoked were all violent in nature. I understand kids needing to act things out, but when you give a child an ice cream bar and he exclaims, “I’m going to take you down! I’m going to kill you!” as he anticipates eating this desert, it just unnerved the hell out of me. These kids are almost nine. And it’s not like the two boys were competing for the girl. The boys were just as aggressive in speech and play with her as they were with each other.

I interjected every now and then, tried to encourage kinder words and more cooperative play, but I had very little effect.
I know these kids. I know their families. When my own daughter adopts these postures, my little girl who was born with such a large measure of compassion that people remarked on it, joins in on this kind of play, I have to wonder just what are we, as a society, doing?

This past weekend is a wake up call. It really drives home the point that parenting really has to be active and fully engaged to offset the violent nature of our culture and the world we live in, and more than that, proactive measures need to be taken to create a supportive environment for the values you hold. We don’t live in a vacuum, and sometimes passing your values to your children is like handing them a feather in a wind tunnel.

Demian,
~DreamSinger

Earlier this week I did an author reading and performance of “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” at Kaltreider-Benfer Library in Red Lion, PA. I’ve spoken and sung at various events, but this is the first specifically for children. The turnout was good, and there was something very gratifying about looking into the faces of the children and seeing them connect with what I was saying.

I learned a lot from that experience, and have ideas for engaging the children further. Stacey and I had talked about putting a children’s CD together, before and now I feel even more inspired to do so.

It was so neat to do something just for the fun of it. I was asked if I would be open to doing more events for children, and I said that I would. Writing this children’s story was the first project I did that didn’t have something to do with healing or overcoming. No matter how hopeful and uplifting, they still have something to do with a wound or saddness of some sort.

“Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes“was just an innocent celebration of life. It became my first glimpse into a childhood I never had, a taste of innocence without “something” hanging over it..a perspective on the way things should be.

Oh yes, I know there are people who say “should’s” and “ought to’s” are a source of sorrow, that we should adopt an attitude of nonjdugemental acceptance. But really, some things really should be. Like children should feel safe and have their innocence protected. Believing that it ought to be so, isn’t what brings us sorrow. It’s the unjust and cruel things that make it not so that causes so much sorrow.

Being peaceful, I think does, have to do with accepting “It is what it is”, but peaceful is not complacency or apathy. It doesn’t mean just because it is what it is, it’s okay to always be that way. We can accept “it is what it is”, and in fact, it’s sometimes necessary to preserve our sanity in a sometimes insane world, but this acceptance should provide us with the space and incentive to decide what we want to do about it, to choose to respond in whatever empowering way is right for us.

Why? Because we know that if things are not the way they should be, it is up to us to bring about changes so they may be.

Children should be able to look at their world with wonder. The light in their eyes should not go out. And for a moment, that wonder and light was mine.

Demian,
~DreamSinger

Last night I was listening to a teleseminar, when the guest speaker, Michael Port closed the call with the words, “There are people waiting for your gifts”.

Those words went straight to my heart.

I hate marketing. At least, that’s what I’ve always told myself. And I’ve even, at times, tried to tell myself this wasn’t really marketing…I was sharing what I was doing with others. But I didn’t really hear it and I never really could bring myself to do it…until last night, when I heard Michael Port talk about service, and how what you do will affect and change other people, and so it’s your duty to find those people and serve them.

Every now and then something is said or something read; perhaps the light looks a certain way on a set of leaves or the breeze brings an aroma that causes you to smile without even knowing why, and you are suddenly reminded that you are not alone.

I needed to hear those words. Sometimes life seems to come at me too fast, and I get overwhelmed…and discouraged.

But I feel better today, stronger…and I look at my music, my writings again, and I think that it is selfish of me to even think of quitting. We never write for ourselves, and songs are not born to be sung only into empty space, even as we may live rather solitary lives in our creative spaces. Whether we have an audience in mind, whether or not we have any desire to share anything of what we do, we live in a world filled with many lives, some of whom are waiting to hear what we have to say.

So professional or not, know that you matter, and that your presence and what you bring to it is very important.

Demian,
~DreamSinger

A while ago, I received a friendly email from someone who invited me to create and submit a list of dreams and goals I’d like to accomplish by age 100, as part of launching a new website geared toward the empowerment and celebration of older people.

I know the importance of setting goals and holding a vision, but life has a way of making one so busy while you’re trying to take care of daily living, that you forget how to take care of your dreams.

But this invitation - and challenge, helped to motivate me to create a space to do just that. So when I finally got a breather, I took a couple days and put together my list…and had a lot of fun doing it. It was eye opening for me, and more emotionally moving than I would have anticipated. It helped me to see what my priorities were and what I truly valued in life.

Well, yesterday I finally submitted my list.The contest is over in a couple of days, but I invite create your own list, anyway. If you choose to submit it, you can go to www.eons.com and use my code number to log in: 72265

You will then receive your own code.

Now, I have to say I don’t care so much about trying to live to 100, as trying to live as fully and genuinely as I can. I can’t pretend I have less to offer than my younger peers, when I know I actually have more to offer than ever before.

I think because of my childhood, there are days when I feel like I was born old, that my heart is just tired of the pain and suffering this dear world goes through, but it’s also true that my heart is very big, filled with dreams it loves as much as anyone can love their children, and like a mother, it wants to see each one of them given the opportunity to live and take wing.

So I will choose to be a faithful steward of my heart, and do whatever I can to honor the dreams it holds, knowing that when you come right down to it, I cannot separate myself from who I am now from who I envision myself to be in the future. They are intertwined.

Have fun creating your list of dreams. Whether or not you choose to submit them, just the act of creating this list of dreams will be a blessing. Some of them may have been waiting just for this moment to be discovered by you.

If you do choose to participate, again, here’s my code number for you to use when you first log in - 72265, at www.eons.com. Once you’re logged in, you’ll receive your own code.

Contest ends July 10, 2006.