Jul07
My Mother’s Chosen Birthday
Today is July 7th. Perhaps it means so much more to those who are taken by the numbers 07/07/07, but to me this day and this month have always held special significance.
Decades ago, my mother decided to pick this day as her birthday. Having been adopted…or purchased, she never knew her real date of birth.
The following is a forward from a story I had rewritten for her, a story that, also, holds the seventh day of the seventh month with significance. This story opened the doors to getting published as a children’s author with another manuscript. I wrote this for my mom, so I offered them another manuscript that I was willing to edit.
Today, I share the background to the story and hope it will not only open the door to a sense of wonder but to another step of healing.
I will upload the full story in pdf form in honor of my mother in a few days.
Story Behind the Story
In the western world the galaxy in which we live is called “The Milky Way”. From where our little planet sits on the edge of the Milky Way, we can see a wide sweep of stars that make up this galaxy across the night sky.
People in the East call this celestial wonder, “The River of Heaven”.
In one of version of an ancient story, a beautiful Goddess, the Star Maiden, and a simple shepherd boy discover one another and fall in love. They are granted permission, by the Star Maiden’s father, the Emperor of the Heavens, to wed. But the young lovers are so taken by each other that they neglect their duties.
As punishment, the Emperor decrees they be separated forever, except for one night out of the year. On the seventh night in the seventh month, the Shepherd Boy may ascend to the sky and cross the River of Heaven to be with his love. But when the night is over, he must return to Earth
The legend says if it rains on that night, the raindrops are tears of sorrow, for the Shepherd Boy was unable to cross and must wait another year. But if the skies are clear, the lovers are reunited and the sparkling stars reflect their happiness.
The story of the Star Maiden and the Shepherd Boy has inspired the imagination and touched the hearts of poets and lovers for hundreds of years. In Japan, festivals are held every summer in honor of the two lovers and their devotion.
My mother loved this story, its romance, the longing that is finally satisfied when fate is kind, if only for a moment. My mother’s own life was filled with trauma, heartache and disappointment. She lived with a deep and burning desire for love, for the happiness that always seemed to be just beyond her reach, and as far away, as the other side of that river.
Sold at the age of two by her Chinese mother to a Japanese couple, one of her earliest memories was of that fateful day, and her long waiting on a balcony, overlooking another river, the Yangtze River, for her rescue from a brother who never came.
My mother never knew her real birthday. It is only fitting that she would have chosen July 7th and its legend, with its theme of sorrow and constant looking to the stars, to mark the beginning of her life and each passing year.
It is, also, ironic that my mother should pick a date that not only reflected the longing in her heart, but the wounding between the two cultures who would come to mean so much to her - the beginning of Japan’s full scale war against China.
My own relationship with my mother was filled with ambivalence. My life is a journey of healing each layer of wounding, that mothers, who never dealt with their own wounds, inflict upon their children.
Ten years ago, in 1997, just several weeks after I told her I was with child, my mother passed away.
Sometimes I get the feeling she is still just on this side of the River of Heaven unable to go on, tied to the earth with guilt, regret and the anger that comes from too many things unfinished, un-experienced, a life of potential un-lived.
Sometimes in our personal lives, as within the greater context of a culture, we need to tell a different story in order to live one.
So, with respect for its roots and faith in its wings, I offer a new story, a message of healing, of love and hope for Japan and China - the culture that helped raise and shape my mother, and the homeland my mother loved so much, yet never returned to.
But mostly, Mom, I’ve rewritten this story for you. May it set your heart free and help ferry you gently across the River of Heaven.
Love,
Your daughter,
Demian
2007
