Keeping the Dream

How can we not be inspired - even more, energized to move on that inspiration? This speech was given in 1992. More so than ever, we need to heed her words.

His name is Ken Novin. And he’s my ex-husband from my first marriage.

Yesterday was his birthday. At the last minute, my oldest daughter called and said there had been a change of plans and asked if I would like to go with them to an arcade place with the grandchildren and her dad.

At first, I said no, because I had just dropped my youngest off with her dad. I couldn’t go someplace like that without her and not feel guilty. She adores Kenny and would have been very disappointed not to have been able to celebrate his birthday with her nephews and nieces, although because of their ages, she sees them more as brothers and sister.

Actually, I wouldn’t choose to go someplace like that with her for that matter, and be very hard pressed to volunteer to take her in the first place!

But my oldest daughter called again and asked, and this time I had to say yes. It was, after all, Kenny’s birthday, my two oldest would be there and I just had to see my grandson bowl!

We had a bit of a glitch at the restaurant we stopped off at first. It was Hooters (he loves those chicken wings) - my first time, and probably last, (unless it’s for extenuating circumstances like last night.) Too many T.V.’s for me, all of them sports (I know, it’s the nature of the place), too many guys checking everybody out and the service was absolutely horrible. We waited over an hour and a half for our food, and then the adults got their food and were done, before my grandson got his! (His papaw shared).

My son let his displeasure be known, without being ignorant, but was very direct and clean in his anger. I was impressed. The latest dinner was free and the rest was substantially reduced. I won’t be returning, but then I wouldn’t anyway.

But that did not ruin the night, no. We went to the arcade…it was a cultural shock for me, (does everything have to scream out at you???) but I so enjoyed watching my little grandson roll that little bowling ball down the lane…his running to release the ball getting further and further down the lane! He was awesome.

The most special part of the night to me though was on my way home. It was just past midnight. Kenny, very tired, and who should have gone straight to bed, called me up after I had been on the road for five minutes and laughingly asked, “Are you awake?”

He talked to me, telling me how deeply he was touched by the present given to him by his two kids this morning - a photo album of his parents, his family, childhood up to present day.

He was moved to tears when he first saw it, and as he spoke I could hear the emotion and gratefulness in his voice.

And that was the highlight of the evening to me. Not the night out, but the ride home, talking on the phone with a dear friend who was tired enough to have fallen asleep immediately, but who cared enough about me to talk to me, keeping me awake, until I was in my parking space by my house.

I would have been fine, but his caring made me better.

I went to bed, grateful for this snap shot of a moment. I will cherish it in my heart as much as any photograph lovingly placed in an album.

Happy birthday, Kenny. And many more.

This video filled my heart with joy, brought a big smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

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To see it in high definition, go here, and click on “watch in high quality” under VIEWS below the video.
Here’s a good background article by the NY Times.

There is something compelling about the force of gratitude, especially in a society that’s characterized by so much entitlement. It is one of the reasons I became involved with the People of the Golden Vision.

I had never met anyone so gracious and so hopeful and grateful for the smallest act of kindness than the young Chinese girl who had been detained in New Orleans from the Golden Venture. One small note to her elicited such an outpouring of appreciation that she immediately won my heart. In all the years I have known her since, this is her nature.

Having a grateful heart, being able to appreciate the present moment, these things are crucial to finding happiness. The pursuit of happiness, we are so fond of claiming we have a right to in this country, is really a sad little joke. Because happiness can’t be pursued. It can only be accepted.

I’ve seen, too often, and lived this, the impossible and almost frantic attempt to capture that which can only be found by standing still. This does not mean apathy or non-engagement with our reality. To the contrary, standing still…or more accurately, being still, will take you farther than any amount of racing.

It, also, has nothing to do with physical activity. On the surface, a person may be very busy with schedules and commitments. But if done with awareness and mindfulness of the present moment, it can be a natural unfolding of that very present moment. More so than the person who sits on a mediation cushion to escape reality.

A grateful heart makes room to enter into this stillness, this mindfulness. And it is this very mindfulness that makes it possible to be grateful. And it changes things.

If we want to make a difference in this world, if we want to find the answer to the question, “How can I make a difference?”, maybe we should start with counting our blessings.

Last night I attended a reunion with fellow grassroots activists to share our experiences concerning Chinese detainees from the Golden Venture with Patrick Keefe. Patrick Keefe is writing a book on the Golden Venture as a follow up to a New Yorker article.

It was a wonderful evening. First, it was a pleasure to meet with Patrick. He shared the journey he took that brought him to writing this book. I was interested in meeting him and hearing about his experience and more than happy to share mine.

But what I was really looking forward to was seeing my old friends again. It had been years since I had seen a good number of these people. It was like coming home.

There’s something about being in the company of passionate and caring people. We are all so diverse in our political and religious views, and yet each one of us unapologetically offers who we are to one another and wholeheartedly accepts this as the gift it is.

I walked away from the evening’s experience and stepped into the night infused with an energy and vitality, a renewed sense of hope.

A lot of things were triggered last night…memories, lessons learned, inspiration that sustains me to this day. I was reminded not only of what I believe, but that I am not alone in those beliefs. There is not only great comfort in that, but strength.

I think I will spend the next few days going over some of these things, sharing them with you. Because when you give and what you give to another strengthens it in you.

Sometimes I get so drained. Being a single homeschooling mom, I can get overwhelmed by addressing the needs of my child and just making ends meet. I’m always looking for some kind of community, a social network for my child and myself to belong to. We do have friends, and the homeschooling community in this area is strong.

But thinking on this this morning, I realized I have another one. It’s not a homeschooling community. It’s not a church community. It’s this very beautiful fluid community of people who, with all our diversity, share a common foundation - compassion and a deep respect for our fellow human beings. And perhaps even more importantly, act on those things, making a difference.

Yes, it felt good to come home.