Keeping the Dream

You know, so many wars are fought because of boundary disputes. Most of them are ridiculous, especially when you consider the cost of so many lives. But boundaries are important to people, and I have found that the not acknowledging of them is the cause of so many ills and conflicts.

We are so fond of talking about being ego-less and how the ego, or the belief in it, is the cause of so much if not all the sorrow in the world. The irony that a good number of people who espouse this view are, also, among those who harbor the biggest egos is not lost to me…but that’s the subject of another post.

Where narcissism is concerned, it’s the loss of boundaries, the refusal to see you as a separate person from them that is the sickness and the cause of suffering. It’s the stuff that makes the subtle assaults of emotional and psychological abuse possible, the little killings that happen a word at a time.

No separation and being one with everyone (aka the parent) is death to the children of narcissistic parents. To be a healthy human being, you have to have a strong sense of where you end and another person ends. We aren’t given that in a house full of mirrors that narcissists build.

Boundaries are good. They are necessary to good mental health. But these are the boundaries that we carry in our psyche and self awareness. The lines we arbitrarily draw in the sand…well, that’s a different matter.

They are useful only in as much as they serve humanity. But when they are used to justify the taking of lives, it’s a tragedy.

It isn’t because I’m protesting. It’s not a boycott, though I am sympathetic to the call for one.

It’s because I’m an incest victim. And I’ve spent too many nights and too many days denying the abuse that was occurring, putting on a happy face, presenting a good show of a happy family to the world.

And somehow, it felt like I would be doing that again - playing my assigned part in the show as the well-behaved audience, agreeing that - “Nope, no suffering here.”

I could not do it. Not any more. Not again.

So tonight, while without a doubt, a most spectacular presentation is being made in Beijing, I will sit here in silence and think of the dissidents locked up, and the dispossessed, and the desperate. And I will think of all those who suffer in silence and know that we are all not so different from one another.

I admire the athletes, the purpose behind the Olympics, the vision and the great skill and artistry of those involved. But for tonight, I will marvel, not at a pageantry designed to dazzle, but the quiet and noble dignity of the human spirit that inspires because of its nature.

And no amount of money, 40 billion or 400 billion can add to its glory.