Keeping the Dream

Stacey showed me the “final” version of The Last Farewell. I put “final” in quotes, because he said he wants to make one more mix with a little less reverb on the voice, to see if the lyrics will a little clearer.

But I love, love, love what he has done with the arrangement and production. As usual, he has managed to capture the emotion and intent of the song. It’s beautiful. You know you’ve done good when the song you wrote, the picture you’ve painted, the sculpture you’ve created touches you as if you’re experiencing something someone else has created for the first time.

That is why I believe, in some way, the song, the work of art seeks the artist. No art is ever made from scratch, as if put together by nuts and bolts, but as a soul seeking to be born.

It feels so good to be able to record. It feels good to do something for someone who grieves. It’s really all I want to do with my music. To offer comfort and a little hope. Little is all you need. That’s how powerful Life is.

Yesterday, Stacey and I were in the studio actually recording! We do that so infrequently these days, but that’s, definitely, changing this year.

The song, The Last Farewell, is based on a poem written by the father of a young student killed in the Tiananmen Square Massacre. The father passed away not too long afterward. I’m not sure of what, but I believe, in part, he must have died of a broken heart.

I’ve had this poem for quite a while and put, what I felt, was the essence of it in lyric form. Originally, I wanted to sing it over a traditional Chinese lullaby, but a melody kept insisting itself upon the phrases, so I acquiesced. We laid down the initial tracks last year and only returned to them now to put in the finishing touches. Stacey will do a tad bit more of his magic arranging and it will be done.

I’m looking forward to singing this song at the 20th Anniversary of Tiananmen Square Massacre Candlelight Vigil this year in Washington, D.C., May 30th. To me, going to the vigil has always been about offering healing.

I hope this song will be a vehicle for that in whatever small measure.

(First posted at my healing voices forum)

Presenting Frederika Yumei Kocoronis, named after both grandmothers according to Greek tradition. I had a choice of my first name or Chinese surname, by my daughter, changing the tradition a bit. I chose my Chinese surname, as my mother carried it, both her daughters carried it as a middle name, and both my daughters carry it as a middle name. Now the name is passing to yet another generation.

She arrived Saturday morning close to 11:00 (mother and baby doing very well!) but I have been so busy caring for my grandson that I have not had a chance to post much sooner!

At the hospital, I held Ricca (for short) in one arm…what a treat that was for me! My lightest baby was 8 1/2 pounds and my last was 9 1/2 pounds! She was like holding a little doll to me!

I am in love.

Oh, dear…I know it’s a campaign slogan, but truly…I am looking at this new year with change in mind. And actually, if you’re alive, change is inevitable. I think what most of us mean when we say we want change is that we want to be the ones instigating it and directing its course.

So that’s what I’ve been doing here lately. For the past several days I’ve been cleaning…and I mean cleaning, as in going through old file cabinets, throwing things out, discovering gems and organizing papers and books – mine and my youngest child’s, the one I’m home schooling and have a ton of curriculum lying around my house (my very tiny little house).

Anyway, I’m pleased with how things are shaping up, and I must warn you I’m about to do the same here.

This blog, as all my writings and music, has as its main focus healing. This healing always involves some aspect of finding one’s voice, which is just another way of saying to become more and more authentic, speaking our truth and telling our stories. What I am seeking to do is to become more integrated. To streamline my projects and to be less scattered across cyber space.

I don’t know how many communities I’m a part of…a lot, but I need to withdraw from some of them and choose only a few to focus on.

This is something I tell myself periodically. The difference is that this time, I’m actually going to do it.

I think I’ve discovered a way for people to subscribe to categories, so I can consolidate my topics of interest here…all with the underlying theme of the healing journey…and my readers can subscribe only to the topic they’re interested in. Likewise, you can subscribe to the entire blog if you like.

In the next few days I will be bringing in posts from my relational aggression blog. When I’m done with my book on relational aggression, I’ll use that blog for my podcasts. All articles will be written here.

So…as I’m making this transition, I suspect there will be quite a few posts being made here in a single day.

I know I’ve not posted anything since New Year’s Eve. I needed this time off but I have been busy and will be back.

I hope you are taking care of yourself.

Peace

The photo in the new banner for this blog is a graphic enhanced version of my grandson held in my arms, taken two years ago. I have gotten a lot of positive feedback concerning that photo, that it’s pretty much become my logo.

Somehow the nurturing image of a woman holding a baby seems fitting for the concept of “Keeping the Dream”.

How tender all our dreams are, how beautiful that they should receive our care, our nurturing and protection. And I don’t mean “our” in a rhetorical sense. I mean yours. You, who read these words now. You, who I may or may not correspond with in email, who may live in my town or across the ocean.

I think about all the sorrow in this world. I don’t need to be fixated on sorrow to be moved by it. And I don’t need to cover my eyes to it to stand in awe of the love that exists in this world either.

I wonder if you know how important you are. I wonder if you realize just how unimportant it is to know how much of a difference you can make…and just make it?

I wonder if you will give yourself the gift of risk and allow yourself the joy of serendipity.

I wonder who you are, if our paths will ever cross and in what indirect way we will affect each other’s lives in ways we cannot fathom.

Today I am wishing you well, my stranger who has graced this page, my brother or sister in this family of humanity.

Keep your dream. Live it. Embrace it. It has a life of its own that it wants to share with you. Like most partners, it may not look like what you’ve always imagined it to be. It might only be a very quiet dance, kept away from the sunlight, coming out only at night. Dance in the moonlight. Dance to your love’s pleasure.

Every dream is a seed to a better world. Keep that dream alive in you. You are more important than you know.

Well, yesterday I upgraded the version of this blog and my relational aggression blog, and wound up messing up the email feature on both blogs. I stayed up most of the night – literally -last night and spent almost all day trying to find answers, which is pretty hard when you’re not even sure what you’re asking.

But after much vigilance and experimenting with altering codes and finally settling on one of two plugins I experimented with, not only do I have email notification and password retrieval working again, but I think it’s improved.

So if you had trouble logging in or never got your password when you registered, please, give it a try again.

I plan on adding some more features in the next few weeks. I want to have fun

No apologies, sensuality belongs to me
All the lies are fading, truth and power waiting
Here for me…

No apologies, all the roads I’ve traveled for so long
Make me realize I’m strong and proud of who I’ve
Come to be…

No apologies, time is really not the enemy
Gifts abound that only those who live the years
Can truly see…

No apologies for the love I feel inside of me
Hold the writer’s pen and play with grandchildren
I’m so happy!

….Seasons come and go
and I am growing old
Now, hear me sing…

No apologies, oh no apologies…no, no, apologies

Oh, no apologies, sensuality belongs to me
Life is full and rich and twilight promises
There’s more to see…
And more to be…
And more to know…
And more to grow…

[I will be going to work this weekend and probably won't be able to access the internet for any length of time until Monday, and since I really like this song, I'm not going to schedule any posts while I'm gone. I'm just going to let this one sit at the top for a while. For those of you who would like this song, I'm offering it as a free download at www.soundclick.com/dreamsinger for a limited period of time as my celebrating gift to you.]

…which will be next Friday, November 2nd, I’m going to be writing my thoughts about growing older all this week. Some will be older posts, that I once had here, then moved to another blog, and now am consolidating back here. Others will be brand new.

In this week of contemplation and celebration, I will, also, be posting photos between here and my more personal blog concerning my childhood at Miyasan’s Daughter, as well as add some thoughts about my mother, her mother and the paths they traveled…and built for the one that followed.

I will also be posting a song I wrote just recently, called “No Apologies”, to celebrate and express how I feel at this stage of my life. I have the song in hand. It’s recorded, mixed and converted into an audio file. But I will wait and present it to myself as a gift and share this song and my joy with you on November 2nd. It’s that special to me.

I wrote this song not only for myself, and all older women everywhere, but for my daughters, and every woman’s daughter. The models are not the skinny ones who slink down the cat walk. We are the models, and we are the promise of what our daughters can be.

I want to do my best to make it a good promise.

You know, I just may celebrate all month.