Creating Space

Written by on August 9, 2007 in The Healing Journey with 0 Comments

I’ve been reorganizing my blogs, much as I am now trying to reorganize my life, carving out space and time in a rushing river of time. When perhaps, all I need to do is realize the fastest currents are within me.

I will be here more often now. I’ve been carrying thoughts of my mother lately.

Maybe it’s because my oldest daughter has told me that she is with child again, and there has been talk that it might be a girl.

Well, of course, it might. And then it might not. But this is the kind of talking that is done with playfulness and fun, but more…it awakens me to a realization. The line among the women of my family has been tenuous and hard fraught with feelings of desperate love, jealousy and betrayal.

Will the cycle be broken with this one? Or with my youngest? And what kind of role model will I be to a granddaughter?

This morning, my youngest told me that she thought we were a lot like each other, that she could see me in her. I smiled. She meant it as a compliment, a stature she wanted to obtain. She has not grown to despise what I represent.

I know there is a natural breaking away, but can it be that it will not be so hard or harsh as it was with my oldest? So much of that depends on the choices I make now…and the choices she will make then.

Strange…how when I am in this place I feel like I am in a sacred place. Not like a regular blog like my others. Those are special and meaningful to me. But this place is different, because when I come here, I am different. In this most public of places, I feel alone. Perhaps my thoughts of my mother crowd everything else out.

Even as an adult with children and grandchildren, she looms a large figure in my life.

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About the Author

About the Author: Greetings, fellow dreamer, and welcome! I’m Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist. Some of my creative projects are a CD of healing music, “For the Sake of Love” and a children’s book on the interconnectedness of life, “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” published by Illumination Arts. Currently, I’m in the process of creating podcasts for my book series on covert abuse. My commitment is to the creative process especially as it relates to the healing journey. Whether I’m singing at a vigil for asylum seekers, memorial for political activists or sitting around a table sharing tea and conversation with friends who just want to talk heart to heart, I am always deeply moved by the human spirit to love and live with authentic beauty. Thank you for being here, for reading my posts and/or listening to my podcast. There’s much to share, much to create and the journey has just begun! Meet you on the path. .

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