Dealing with Anger

Written by on January 28, 2006 in The Healing Journey with 0 Comments

This is such a loaded topic for me.

I think the whole issue of anger poses a special challenge for women, because quite frankly, we’re not supposed to have anger…not if we’re “nice girls” and “nice women”.

So what do you do when you’re suddenly faced with a huge amount of rage, when being even a little bit pissed isn’t supposed to be nice?

It’s been my observation that for some women, they get hurt…always hurt, but never really allow themselves to feel angry…unless it’s squeezed out sideways, and then “voila”, you have relational aggression.

Or it explodes into one furious sudden explosion not at all appropriate to the situation at hand.

Or maybe it’s resentment…which might be anger stretched out over time like salt water taffy…really sticky and messy but sweeter than in-your-face anger.

So how do you deal with your anger? Because you’re going to find yourself face to face with it many times throughout your healing journey.

I find that I have “specific situation anger handicap”. In other words, social injustice, a wrong committed to another person, those things, I have no problem expressing my anger. I can be a great advocate. I can express my anger and harness it for good.

However, anger in intimate situations, with people I love…like a man…that’s an entirely different situation. That is fraught with stress, fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of reprisal, whatever.

So what about you? How do you deal with your anger? Care to share them?

Demian,
~DreamSinger

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. "For the Sake of Love” is her collection of songs written on Demian's healing journey, and “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” is a children’s book she wrote for her daughter about the interconnectedness of life published by Illumination Arts and endorsed by Jane Goodall. Currently, Demian is working on recording episodes for her podcast and writing on the "Where There's Smoke Series on Covert Abuse". .

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