Loss of Creative Passion (Deliberate Intention)

Written by on April 6, 2012 in The Healing Journey with 19 Comments

Passion isn’t just about sexuality. Sex is actually only a part of what passion is, and not even an essential part, albeit, pleasurable and important in the lives of many.

Have you ever met a passionate person? You may know absolutely nothing about their sex life, but you can see they are filled with passion. There’s something about them — their vivaciousness, their enthusiasm, the way they talk about certain things, their drive and commitment, the way they laugh, loud or soft. They have an uncanny resiliency in the face of obstacles and an energy that weaves through and around their voice, their lives. They possess a “livingness” that is almost contagious, and can get you to remember your own passion if you’re not careful.

There’s a passion that no bed or bedroom can contain — the passion you have for living, for ideas, for adventure and invention. There’s the passion for creating and discovering, anything that brings you enjoyment in a celebratory way. This is the passion that gets you up out of bed in the morning more effectively than any alarm clock, that enables you to start the day with anticipation.

Passion is energy, and covert abuse is an energy drainer. You can find yourself losing your passion for the things that used to inspire you just from the characteristic fatigue that comes with covert abuse. If you’re physically, psychologically and emotionally drained, how you can pull up anything for your creativity when the very wellspring of who you are is dry?

But you can also lose your passion, not just as a byproduct of covert abuse, but through deliberate intention.

Covert abuse is jealous.

Sometimes it’s because of insecurity. People who covertly abuse, who need to manipulate to control, do not possess much self esteem or regard for themselves. They hide this insecurity under bravado. If they perceive you as being talented — and many covert abusers are attracted to people with admirable traits — then by gradually tearing you down they give themselves the illusion of being uplifted.

Your fall becomes their rise.

But sometimes it doesn’t have as much to do with pulling you down as seeing your passion as competition. Sure it was fine when they first met you, exciting and attractive even, but once they came into your life, they are supposed to take center stage. Your passion is supposed to take a back seat…way back seat, as in out of the building. Because if you’re taking care of your passion or spending time with it, you’re not taking care of or spending time with them.

That taking care of your passion makes you whole, makes you better able to love others is lost to a covert abuser. They can’t understand, because more often than not, they have become a stranger to their own passion or are now only acquainted with it’s substitution, obsession.

And forget about extending or including your passion for creativity in your love for them. With the mind that can conceive of power only as “power over”, there is no sharing, no widening of the dance floor. There’s only either/or, me or it, black or white. They win or they lose. There are no other states of being.

It’s an irony, that very thing that may attract such a person to you in the first place is the very thing they will target once they get secure in your love for them. How confusing it is.

But then that’s covert abuse, and being covert, it will do its attacking while calling it something else.

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POINTS TO PONDER

What kind of relationship do you have with your creativity? Is it a part of your life, an intrusion or is it totally nonexistent?

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. "For the Sake of Love” is her collection of songs written on Demian's healing journey, and “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” is a children’s book she wrote for her daughter about the interconnectedness of life published by Illumination Arts and endorsed by Jane Goodall. Currently, Demian is working on recording episodes for her podcast and writing on the "Where There's Smoke Series on Covert Abuse". .

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  1. DemianYumei says:

    So it’s been a good month and then some since I lasted posted. Writing can be hazardous to your health! Or at least feel that way when you wind up opening a Pandora’s box of triggers you weren’t expecting.
     
    So I got REAL sick, was hit with one of the worst cases of chronic fatigue, and was quite incapacitated for a good two weeks. Spend most of my time lying on the couch either sleeping or drifting. I was drainer than drained. Anyway, I’ve slowly come out of it, after dealing with two viral bugs to boot. And I thought about seriously just letting this writing project go. It’s one thing to get knocked off your feet when you’re independently wealthy, but I don’t have the luxury of missing so many days of work.
     
    I thought, I don’t want to process any more shit. I just want to build, to create. I want to work on something fun and wholesome and happy.
     
    Well, you know, I still do…but someone I love dearly passed away unexpectedly, suddenly, earlier this week, and he was my friend, a true friend, my creative partner/confident/supporter. Tom Sterner always believed in me, always supported me in all my creative endeavors. When he lived in my home town you could count on him to show up at my performances. He gave wonderful helpful critiques, and he made me laugh. He was the antithesis of what this post is about.
     
    He was passionate and supported other people’s passion in whatever creative form it took.
     
    And because creativity was so important to him, and because he made the courageous decision to live his creativity and moved to a place where he could flourish in his art, I decided that I would write not only this article about one’s creative passion, but to finish what I had started.
     
    I will be mindful of what I can handle and what I can’t, and if I need to take time off, I will. But I will not quit. Tom would not have quit. He would not have wanted me to quit.
     
    So it’s for him that I rededicate myself to this manuscript, to this writing project.
     
    And plus, I’m pissed at injustice. It’s not right that Tom died, and it’s not right that I keep my mouth shut about what I’ve learned and am learning on this journey. And damn it, I’m not going to add to the wrongness of his death with the wrongness of my quitting.
     
    I’m here to stay, creatively and passionately.
     
     

  2. The Path To Peace-Recovery From Psychopathic Manip says:

    ((( CB ))) excellent!

  3. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    Great to see you back, was going to look you up today to see if you’d written anything new 🙂

  4. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    Great to see you back, was going to look you up today to see if you’d written anything new 🙂

  5. DemianYumei says:

     @The Path To Peace-Recovery From Psychopathic Manip Hey Path to Peace, thanks! I guess I really needed that time off. I’m feeling stronger now, and more determined to continue writing about things that are important to me. I felt too vulnerable this past month, but somehow the passing of my dear friend has changed me, given me a resolve that I did not feel on my own.
     
    You sound like you’re on better ground since the last time we spoke. I wish you well, dear, and look forward to sharing and growing together. 🙂

  6. Where There's Smoke: Covert Bullying and Abuse says:

    Thanks, Path to Peace!

  7. Where There's Smoke: Covert Bullying and Abuse says:

    Delightful, Empathy! Love serendipity. Found myself lacking strength this past month. Maybe that’s unfair, but I did need to rest and recover a bit. I still have more to write about loss of passion, particularly as it relates to creativity. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  8. DemianYumei says:

     @Empathy 2012: wake up – change yourself – change t As usual, I am uplifted by your presence and comments. Thanks for the work you do in giving people something to think about. I love your page!

  9. Covert Bullying (Abuse) says:

    Thanks, Path to Peace!

  10. Covert Bullying (Abuse) says:

    Delightful, Empathy! Love serendipity. Found myself lacking strength this past month. Maybe that’s unfair, but I did need to rest and recover a bit. I still have more to write about loss of passion, particularly as it relates to creativity. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  11. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    You’re welcome – and I fully understand the need to replenish your own energy supplies. So many of us who have suffered abuse in the past now have to deal with the physical consequences of years of internalising and repressing the pain. It’s great that you recognise when you need to rest and give yourself that time. I still struggle with that and push myself a little too hard at times, only to regret it later when the pain and fatigue kick in. I’ve written some blog posts about burn out – if you check out my FB page today, you’ll find a link to the first one (of three). I think it may resonate with you 🙂 Really looking forward to your next posts, thank you for all you do to bring awareness to this cause. (PS the numbers ‘333’ have been following me around a lot lately – if you read my notes on FB, you’ll see that my interpretation of this number sequence is ‘creativity’ – and your comment to me in UK time was posted at 3.33 – serendipity and synchronicity rock! )

  12. Where There's Smoke: Covert Bullying and Abuse says:

    Wow! Ha ha! I love it! And I’ll take it – creativity all the way! 🙂 Thanks so much for letting me know about your blog posts. I’ll definitely check them out this evening. I’m on my way out the door now, but with a very big smile on my face.

  13. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    You’re welcome – and I fully understand the need to replenish your own energy supplies. So many of us who have suffered abuse in the past now have to deal with the physical consequences of years of internalising and repressing the pain. It’s great that you recognise when you need to rest and give yourself that time. I still struggle with that and push myself a little too hard at times, only to regret it later when the pain and fatigue kick in. I’ve written some blog posts about burn out – if you check out my FB page today, you’ll find a link to the first one (of three). I think it may resonate with you 🙂 Really looking forward to your next posts, thank you for all you do to bring awareness to this cause. (PS the numbers ‘333’ have been following me around a lot lately – if you read my notes on FB, you’ll see that my interpretation of this number sequence is ‘creativity’ – and your comment to me in UK time was posted at 3.33 – serendipity and synchronicity rock! )

  14. Covert Bullying (Abuse) says:

    Wow! Ha ha! I love it! And I’ll take it – creativity all the way! 🙂 Thanks so much for letting me know about your blog posts. I’ll definitely check them out this evening. I’m on my way out the door now, but with a very big smile on my face.

  15. Where There's Smoke: Covert Bullying and Abuse says:

    Empathy, I can’t find the link to your article. Could you post it here? Thanks!

  16. Covert Bullying (Abuse) says:

    Empathy, I can’t find the link to your article. Could you post it here? Thanks!

  17. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    Hi CB, just read this, was out all day yesterday 🙂 Here’s the link http://empathicguidance.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/burn-out-part-one-the-symptoms/ The article is in three parts, hope you find it helpful/interesting 🙂 And hearing about your big smile put a big smile on my face – and in my heart – too!

  18. Empathy 2012: wake up - change yourself - change t says:

    Hi CB, just read this, was out all day yesterday 🙂 Here’s the link http://empathicguidance.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/burn-out-part-one-the-symptoms/ The article is in three parts, hope you find it helpful/interesting 🙂 And hearing about your big smile put a big smile on my face – and in my heart – too!

  19. Covert Bullying (Abuse) says:

    Thank you! I look forward to reading it with a nice cup of tea tomorrow when I get home.

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