Tag: covert abuse

Shame

Written by on August 19, 2014 in Covert Abuse with 2 Comments
Shame

Shame is a big one for me. Mainly because shame is the biggest impact of abuse. Shame can come sudden by traumatic event or it can creep in young and grow over the years. Whether it’s through physical, sexual or psychological abuse, anything that invalidates and renders you — your dignity as a human being […]

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Connecting the dots…or not

Written by on September 4, 2013 in Covert Abuse with 5 Comments

Last year or so, while recovering from a bout of exhaustion I had spent most of one day napping on the couch and watching T.V. I discovered a program on Investigation Discovery, called Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? It’s a series about people who think they know their spouses only to find they are, […]

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Feigning Negative Emotions: Anger

Written by on June 21, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 3 Comments
Feigning Negative Emotions: Anger

Fear is just one negative emotion that can be feigned. There are others like righteous anger and indignation. Instead of coming from a place of weakness like fear, indignation and righteous anger appears to come from strength. But in truth all manipulation comes from weakness. Feigned indignation and righteous anger is a multipurpose weapon used […]

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Feigning Negative Emotions: Fear

Written by on June 16, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 8 Comments
Feigning Negative Emotions: Fear

Feigning means to fake, to act “as if”, to pretend. You can fake anything, including emotions. Any perceived emotion or state of being can be used to hide, mislead, seduce or distract. In themselves, all emotional states of being just are. They can have negative impact if we deny their existence, thereby denying healing for […]

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Self-Blame

Written by on June 13, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 7 Comments
Self-Blame

Covert abuse: the assaults, the pain…did I do something to deserve this? No. I could leave it at that and end this post, but I’ll delve into it a little further in case you’re not convinced. And if you’re a victim of covert abuse, chances are you aren’t. Covert abuse, with its systematic erosion of […]

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Self-Trivializing

Written by on June 9, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 11 Comments
Self-Trivializing

Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? When we experience covert abuse, the very subtlety of it can make us feel embarrassed or even apologetic to bring it up. We — and others — may make us feel silly as if we were making a big deal out of nothing. Trivializing is […]

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Loss of Creative Passion (Real Support vs Self-Serving)

Written by on April 13, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 21 Comments

Covert abusers can say the right things and they can be encouraging. That’s what’s so confusing. But when saying the right things and being encouraging is not followed through with action, then it’s just not real. To some people, saying something is as good as doing it. It doesn’t matter if they hadn’t actually done […]

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Loss of Creative Passion (Covert Attacks)

Written by on April 10, 2012 in Covert Abuse with 34 Comments

So what does it look like when your creative passion is covertly attacked? Covert abusers are cautious about being obvious with their intent, especially at first. They want to win your trust, or more accurately, lower your defenses. True to their covert nature, when they do start withdrawing their support, it will be indirectly. They […]

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