Tag: covert abuse

Connecting the dots…or not

Written by on September 4, 2013 in Tea & Conversation with 5 Comments

Last year or so, while recovering from a bout of exhaustion I had spent most of one day napping on the couch and watching T.V. I discovered a program on Investigation Discovery, called Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? It’s a series about people who think they know their spouses only to find they are, […]

Continue Reading

When Writing Becomes Difficult

Written by on July 3, 2013 in Tea & Conversation with 6 Comments
When Writing Becomes Difficult

I’ll be writing more about covert abuse today. But writing about this topic is challenging. It’s depressing. I find it difficult to continue on this subject for very long. The process entails harvesting years of personal experience, looking at my family of origin and every dysfunctional relationship I have gravitated towards throughout most of my […]

Continue Reading

You Create Your Reality – Part 4 Illusion

Written by on July 2, 2013 in Tea & Conversation with 3 Comments

  It’s all an illusion. A premise for how you create your own reality is that what you think is real isn’t. In fact, it’s an illusion. Again, in this article as in others, I’m not arguing for or against the validity of this or any particular belief. What I’m interested in is looking at how […]

Continue Reading

You Create Your Reality – Part 3 Focus

Written by on July 1, 2013 in Tea & Conversation with 0 Comments
You Create Your Reality – Part 3 Focus

  Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Covert abuse depends on not being seen for what it is. In the hands of a covert abuser the teaching of focusing only on the positive as a way of creating becomes a tool for manipulating. Covert abusers accuse their targets of harping, bitching, […]

Continue Reading

Self-Image of “Goodness” and Covert Abuse

Written by on November 20, 2012 in Tea & Conversation with 13 Comments
Self-Image of “Goodness” and Covert Abuse

I’m not afraid of mean girls or mean people, per se. It’s the “good” ones who make me nervous. Not genuinely kind and beautifully imperfect people, but those caught in their expectation of what it means to be “good”. I’m not talking about seeing yourself as a good person — most people are — but […]

Continue Reading

How to Discern Covert Abuse Without Becoming Paranoid

Written by on October 15, 2012 in Tea & Conversation with 7 Comments
How to Discern Covert Abuse Without Becoming Paranoid

Before I write any more articles in the “Feigning Series” or analyze any more types of manipulation and covert abuse, I would like to address the question of how to protect our idealism, our positive outlook on life in a world where covert abuse exists. It’s necessary to be able to discern covert abuse, to […]

Continue Reading

Selective Perception

Written by on October 12, 2012 in Tea & Conversation with 4 Comments
Selective Perception

You can put it in black and white. You can write. You can text. You can email. The covert abuser will see what they want to see and ignore the rest. When you get your response you will look at their written reply dumbfounded, wondering if they got your message, wondering if you even sent […]

Continue Reading

Feigning Positive Emotions: Kindness

Written by on October 9, 2012 in Tea & Conversation with 1 Comment
Feigning Positive Emotions: Kindness

Just as negative emotions can be used to influence or manipulate people so too can positive emotions. Kindness is more a state of being than an emotion per se, but it fits into the category of something that can be feigned. An act, in itself, can be kind, but the motivation behind it is what […]

Continue Reading

Top