To Feel Loved

Written by on December 12, 2005 in The Healing Journey with 0 Comments

“They know I love them.”

But is that enough? Yesterday I wrote about the words you say and don’t say, and I touched upon the importance of speaking the words that reflect the love we have inside for others.

I’ve heard people, who aren’t very expressive, say they don’t need to tell someone they love them, because they know they do.

But is that true? Certainly, words by themselves are hallow, but words with meaning can be full and rich.

I don’t think it’s enough to know someone loves you. That knowledge is great, but not if it stops in your head. I think the true power lies in feeling loved. And that involves getting close to someone, a level of intimacy that enables you to know what makes that person feel loved.

Maybe that’s why so many of us are satisfied with telling ourselves our children, our significant others “know I love them.”

Yeah, and I know the capital of my state, but that doesn’t make my day.

There’s no substitute for your presence in someone’s life and for letting them know you know they exist. One of the most hurtful things we can do, is to make our children feel invisible. I’ve felt it and I’ve done it. One of the most empowering and loving things we can do is to make them feel seen. I’ve felt that and done that, too.

But oh, how I wish I had done that more often.

Another thing about getting older. You are blessed and cursed with 20/20 hindsight vision. That’s why our elders are so important, and why their wisdom can’t be replicated…but that’s another post.

Sign off this blog, and go tell someone you love, you love them. And when you do it, look them in the eye, good and long. And then ask yourself, if you were them…not if they were you, but if you were them, what would make you happy. Then make the time in your life to do it.

Demian,
~DreamSinger

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. "For the Sake of Love” is her collection of songs written on Demian's healing journey, and “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” is a children’s book she wrote for her daughter about the interconnectedness of life published by Illumination Arts and endorsed by Jane Goodall. Currently, Demian is working on recording episodes for her podcast and writing on the "Where There's Smoke Series on Covert Abuse". .

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