What to do?

Written by on February 16, 2008 in The Healing Journey with 0 Comments

So how are you? Time has gone by so fast.

January was to be the month I took some time off. I needed some space, in part to the emotional flashbacks I was receiving through Megan’s suicide, in part to the growing stress at work, and just in part that I needed a break.

My time is spent between trying to homeschool my daughter and work. That’s about it…and trying to maintain some kind of internet presence through my blogs. These writings, the ability to step apart in this way and express my thoughts and feelings are very important to me.

But January was far from restful. Issues concerning work intruded upon my first shift off, and then when my second approached, we had a major fire set by one of our clients at the apartment complex where three of our sites are located, one of which is mine.

So, to make a long story short, I returned to work to be with my clients and now my company is finding itself kicked out of the complex.

So we’re in a major transition now. And I feel like that is reflective of where I am personally. On the one hand I could panic. All the variables are unknown at this time. They tell us that all the employees will work for Bell, however, they don’t know where or in what capacity.

I know my requirements are very specific at this time. I need to be able to continue to homeschool my daughter. I need to be in a area that is within the center of all my driving.

But at the same time, I want change in my life. I want to be able to maintain a regular routine with my daughter. She needs it. It’s crucial to her learning, and I haven’t been able to maintain that, because of the very work hours that enable me to homeschool her in the first place! I work nights and the shift varies from week to week, which enables me to have her, but that weekly variation also creates its own problems.

So I don’t know what to do. And I don’t know what to ask for. That’s not true. I don’t know what solution to ask for, but I do know what I want.

Maybe that’s where faith comes in. When you can’t see how it could work…not with what you know, then that is the time to leap beyond what you know and trust that something, someone will catch you…or at least meet you. That it will work out.

I can do that.

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. "For the Sake of Love” is her collection of songs written on Demian's healing journey, and “Little Yellow Pear Tomatoes” is a children’s book she wrote for her daughter about the interconnectedness of life published by Illumination Arts and endorsed by Jane Goodall. Currently, Demian is working on recording episodes for her podcast and writing on the "Where There's Smoke Series on Covert Abuse". .

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