I spoke up

Written by on February 28, 2008 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 0 Comments

[I actually wrote this a few months ago, but wanted more time to pass between this actual event and the publishing of it. This situation affected a number of people and I wanted to honor their space with the distance of time. But it was a very important moment for me and I want to share it.]

I can’t begin to explain this, except that I witnessed something that was hurtful – very, very hurtful. I experienced some of it, myself, but most of it I saw happen to other people.

There were many reasons to keep quiet. One was the fear of reprisal, but I spoke up. It was not easy. I languished over some of it and after I had spoken, I had to go back and add a thing or two I had forgotten. I hated that the most.

But I knew I had to do the right thing. I knew I had the capacity and the skill to speak out, not only for myself, but for others, and that I could articulate and keep focused on the issue that so easily kept wanting to get sidetracked away.

It was abusive. I could not back away.

I was afraid and I was very sure of the rightness of what I was going to do. So I spoke. And I was heard. Other voices, also, were heard, but I know I made a difference.

And this made a difference in me, because for the first time I spoke up against something I saw as extremely abusive, I pointed out the duplicity, I clarified the abuse so that others could see, and I did it from a centered and clean space. I was not out to hurt anybody. I was out to stop the continued hurting of other people and myself.

For the first time in my life, I didn’t just take it or helpless flail against an injustice that continued virtually unheeded by my objections. For the first time, I was not only believed among friends who whispered among ourselves.

I stepped out into the sun and spoke what was in me, my awareness, my knowledge, my perception.

I did it.

Some things were triggered – namely the fear of reprisal for myself and for another. You know, the warning that if you tell you’ll be sorry or someone you love will.

And that threat stays with you forever if you first heard this threat as a child.

But it doesn’t keep you down. Because I felt it, and I told anyway.

Not as a child would, but as an adult would. And the two of us, who I was and who I am, celebrate.

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, using spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. Demian is a traveler on the healing journey with a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .


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