I Will Not Be So Afraid

Written by on July 2, 2009 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 2 Comments

I will not be so afraid anymore.

This is one of the things I have learned. That despite all my assertions to wanting to share my writings and music, I am actually afraid to do so. Sabotage in all its forms from procrastination to just plain stupidity provides me that false sense of safety over and over again.

And the closer I get to actually stepping out into the spotlight, as it were, the more desperate my attempts to prevent that.

Not that I actually succeed in that all the time, mind you. I’ve performed and written articles and what not, quite a number of times. But I hold myself back from what I could do and travel to where I could go.

I travel at a snail’s pace, and recently, it’s been brought to my attention that I would even hurt myself than to become who I am meant to be. Crazy isn’t it?

But it’s not all that uncommon. Too many people who have so much to offer hold back.

But I will not be so afraid anymore. I am looking this beast in the eye. I won’t fight it. That’s another act of sabotage. I will look upon this part of my being with compassion.

Then perhaps, it will choose to come along with me as the healthy sense of survival and discernment it’s meant to be.

About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, using spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. Demian is a traveler on the healing journey with a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .


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  • movingforward says:

    Hi friend! It’s movingforward…I know how you feel about being afraid to really show yourself. As for me, I’m afraid of negative criticism and in the past I did get a lot of it rather than encouragements. But also our pop culture does create and perpetuate our fears of being in the spotlight and where people can definitely tear you down.

    Perhaps the trick is to be yourself, be true and believe in what you are doing despite what other people say.

    Then again – here’s another quote that I like:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson

  • Oh, I like that quote too! Thanks for reminding me of it. Our pop culture certainly does make tearing down another person entertainment, doesn’t it? I don’t like any of those shows.

    I’m not sure why I drag my feet so much. I’m certainly called to take care of a lot of things, but I find that even when opportunity opens up, I can put the brakes on myself.

    Well, all we can do is keep trying. Right now, I’m trying to take care of things and get acclimated to all these changes.

    So good to see you here, MovingForward. <3

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