Sometimes when it’s time to step aside…

Written by on December 15, 2007 in The Healing Journey with 0 Comments

…it’s because it’s time to step up.

Yesterday, I walked into a fast food restaurant with my youngest. A group of men looked in my direction. As you would have it, my little girl chose to sit close to their table. As I walked toward them, I noticed they were acting like school boys. I shook my head to myself, but as I turned to sit, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, there was a young woman behind me getting her order.

The men were gawking at her.

It was my turn to smile at myself. I smiled at myself to think I thought they were looking at me. I smiled to realize that that time was coming to a close for me. Oh, I’m all right, but even with my “young genes”, my increasingly graying hair is revealing more and more the truth of my age, and I can see that my face carries more and more the years that I’ve lived.

But what made me smile the most was how undisturbed I was. Somehow maturity and embracing what is of value has snuck up on me. There was a kind of wistfulness at realizing that one stage of my life is fading away, but there was, also, a very quiet but sure confidence and sense of peace. Because for once, I didn’t place my worth as a woman on the less than noble desires of strangers who for the fact they own penises, have no redeeming value for me.

And there’s power in that.

I don’t feel invisible. I know at this point in my life I still command respect with my presence and people still find value in what I have to say, and because of that I feel more seen than ever.

I have discovered in this stage of my life a greater confidence that had eluded me in my younger years. For the first time, I am growing in my sense of who I am. I will not let that go so easily.

As time goes by I will turn heads less and less. Let that time come. I will turn around thoughts previously stuck in bigotry. I will touch hearts once trapped behind fear. I will taste freedom that comes from being humbled by the very passing of time that blesses me.

That’s a pretty good trade off.

Join Me on this Journey!

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. She's a long time traveler on the healing journey and has a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .

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