Tag: manipulation

Connecting the dots…or not

Written by on September 4, 2013 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 5 Comments

Last year or so, while recovering from a bout of exhaustion I had spent most of one day napping on the couch and watching T.V. I discovered a program on Investigation Discovery, called Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? It’s a series about people who think they know their spouses only to find they are, […]

Continue Reading

Feigning Negative Emotions: Sorrow

Written by on June 30, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 2 Comments

I like this photo, because when I first saw it I saw a broken flower, but when I looked closer I realized it was plastic. The title of this photo is “Fake Sorrow”. How appropriate is that? Sorrow and the various forms it can take — depression, melancholy, grief, distress — speaks to vulnerability. This […]

Continue Reading

Feigning Negative Emotions: Anger

Written by on June 21, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 3 Comments

Fear is just one negative emotion that can be feigned. There are others like righteous anger and indignation. Instead of coming from a place of weakness like fear, indignation and righteous anger appears to come from strength. But in truth all manipulation comes from weakness. Feigned indignation and righteous anger is a multipurpose weapon used […]

Continue Reading

Feigning Negative Emotions: Fear

Written by on June 16, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 8 Comments

Feigning means to fake, to act “as if”, to pretend. You can fake anything, including emotions. Any perceived emotion or state of being can be used to hide, mislead, seduce or distract. In themselves, all emotional states of being just are. They can have negative impact if we deny their existence, thereby denying healing for […]

Continue Reading


Written by on June 14, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 10 Comments

The aim of covert abuse is to manipulate, to control or harm another without getting caught. Manipulation is, by definition, difficult to spot. Some ways are easier to see than others, but it does require vigilance to be aware, and a challenge to maintain balance within ourselves. The greatest danger of being a target of […]

Continue Reading


Written by on June 13, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 7 Comments

Covert abuse: the assaults, the pain…did I do something to deserve this? No. I could leave it at that and end this post, but I’ll delve into it a little further in case you’re not convinced. And if you’re a victim of covert abuse, chances are you aren’t. Covert abuse, with its systematic erosion of […]

Continue Reading


Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? When we experience covert abuse, the very subtlety of it can make us feel embarrassed or even apologetic to bring it up. We — and others — may make us feel silly as if we were making a big deal out of nothing. Trivializing is […]

Continue Reading

Loss of Creative Passion (Real Support vs Self-Serving)

Written by on April 13, 2012 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 21 Comments

Covert abusers can say the right things and they can be encouraging. That’s what’s so confusing. But when saying the right things and being encouraging is not followed through with action, then it’s just not real. To some people, saying something is as good as doing it. It doesn’t matter if they hadn’t actually done […]

Continue Reading