Taking Care of Yourself

Written by on November 9, 2007 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 0 Comments

Hey, good morning…

Yesterday, I read a post by Ronni Bennett, “On Employment and Retirement Fears“. There were a number of comments, including mine, sharing where we were financially at the later stages of our lives. Most of us who commented that day did not expect to be where we are today, financially.

And I thought about not only the circumstances that led me here, but to the choices I’ve made regarding money over the years.

It’s hard for me to charge for my services. Most of my speaking and singing engagements have been free. I devote huge amounts of time doing things I get no financial compensation for. It would be fine if I were independently wealthy or was supported by someone, but the person I have to rely on that for is me.

In my last comment on Ronni’s post, I wrote:

You know, it’s bad enough when society discriminates against you. It’s worse when you do it to yourself.

Now, I know there will always be places and times I’m moved to share my music without charging a fee, because it will just be the right thing to do. BUT that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be a better business person, because THAT’S the right thing to do, as well.

Because if the volunteer doesn’t take care of herself, she may very well find that in the end, no one else will either.

So many of us older people, and especially women who find themselves divorced at this stage of their lives, find ourselves barely making ends meet. We don’t even want to think about what will happen if our health fails or some major event happens that we can’t cover. We just make it from current paycheck to current paycheck.

I find myself needing to step back and reassess my situation. I love what I do in this virtual world. I love connecting with people and offering help. I love writing articles that may inspire and receiving email. I’d love to get more interaction on this blog, but the occasional email I get from someone who says my writing and music has made a difference to them means the world to me.

But that doesn’t put food on my table or enable me to care for my child or myself in my old age.

So, how do I do this? How do I find balance between service and…well, service to me?

As a woman, I’m so geared to nurturing and being there for others. I don’t want to drop that. I just need to find a way to balance it. Last night I spent several hours, helping two people I love very much get their affairs in order so they could help one another in their living situation and be more financially stable.

As I was driving home in my car, realizing the heater had just stopped working and facing the upcoming winter now with the prospect of no heat in my car, I thought, “What about me?

And I realize that’s a question I really need to answer.

Well, I hope this day will be a blessing to you…and that as you go about your way making the world a little better place, you will take the time to make your personal world a little cozier and secure for you.

Talk to you later.

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About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, using spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. Demian is a traveler on the healing journey with a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .


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