The Message You Give…

Written by on November 9, 2010 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 0 Comments

I had always believed in the power of creativity, particularly the healing power. It was the power of song that had pulled me through so much of my healing journey – addressing the incest, answering the pain, comforting the tantrums of an inner child, trying to understand her, when at times the only thing she could do was look at me with reproachful eyes.

The songs I wrote were my life link, finding expression not only for the ears and hearts of others, but in the writing, the singing, and even in the hearing later after recording, they ministered to me.

And it was all about the message for me, to get the message out – the message of healing and hope. And I tried to express that message in creative venues whenever I could, in between everything else, part-time, whenever I had a chance, half the time arguing whether I even should, stealing moments before the sun rose, staying up late after everyone else had gone to bed.

I marveled how some people could take an entire day to barbecue and party with friends, and yet, I felt like I was asking for so much with a four hour recording session. I argued and I resented, but by my acquiescence I agreed, my creativity did not merit.

I never paid much attention to the message I was giving me. I counted it an accomplishment to finally put a CD together after 14 years. And it was. But my creative spirit was anorexic by that time.

Over the past few years, with the growing illnesses of two people whom I loved dearly, my creative endeavors became fewer and fewer, and the writing and recording virtually stopped. A few good faith starts, a bit of inspiration here and there, but nothing with any longevity.

And then November came: NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. To write 50,000 words in thirty days, commencing midnight, November 1st through November 30th.

So, shall I give birth to a novel on November 30th, I asked, as I had given birth to my first born 28 years ago?

The thought was absolutely ridiculous. I’m homeschooling, work full-time, plus I have this other manuscript I’ve been working on forever, and ever and ever. That’s all I need – another project.

But it was just crazy enough, and so impractical and foolish to be appealing to me that I jumped right in and signed up.

Truth be known, I had signed up in 2008 and 2009. Total word count for each of those years? Zero. Not a single word. But I liked knowing about it, and following it, kind of.

Not this year. Starting midnight, November 1st, I began to carve out time in my day to write, and I haven’t stopped, and I haven’t apologized.

And somehow everything else has gotten done. I’m still home schooling, even more efficiently, I may add. And I paid my bills on time this week. And the dog gets let out and my house doesn’t look half bad. So it’s no showcase, but then it never is, not even in my most domestic moments.

So I’ve been making daily word count posts at my dreamsinger page at facebook. And I’m proud to say that as of this writing (and I’ll have another session this evening) I have 15,086 words.

What is amazing me in this first week is seeing just how transforming adopting this writing commitment, carving out space in my day to write is. I’m not just tallying up the word count. I’m feeling better about myself with each day.

And I’m beginning to realize that, for me, this isn’t about writing a book. It just looks like it is. It’s not even about the message you give to others through your writing or your songs or whatever avenue your art takes.

It’s what you tell yourself about you through the relationship you have with your own creativity.

And if that’s all I get out of it, then it’s what I’ve lived my whole life to achieve. It only gets better from here.

About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, using spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. Demian is a traveler on the healing journey with a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .


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