Words Spoken and Unspoken

Written by on December 11, 2005 in Conversations on the Healing Journey with 0 Comments

Well, yesterday I posted my first podcast on this blog through Audioblog.com Twenty years ago, I worked for a church in the interim of the church looking for a new minister, and I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to have a radio show and broadcast messages of peace and hope. Then a few years later, I met a woman who used to work for a radio station and we talked about how neat it would be to own a radio station and be responsible for the content.

This isn’t the same as owning a station, but it is kind of like stepping into a piece of a dream I’ve had for a very long time.

We, as a species, are gifted with the ability to speak, to communicate not only with words, but with imagery and artistry. How we use this gift…or misuse it, is a choice we make every day. But not very often do we stop and think about just what power it is we have in our hands and what a privilege it is to be able to do this.

How often do we use words to deceive ourselves…to deceive others? Words that shoot another person down, words that rip down a reputation like so much ivy from a wall, words that crush a child’s spirit in less time than it takes to bat an eye.

But perhaps, the saddest words are the words we never speak. Words of encouragement, words that convey just how much we love someone, how much they mean to us…until it’s too late, and the words you finally do speak go rushing to deaf ears…ears that no longer hear or want to.

Be mindful of what you say…and even more so of what you don’t say.

I think, as a survivor, for me it’s come to asking not whether the love inside me has been too wounded or too hurt or too whatever, but whether or not I have the ability or wherewithal to develop the ability to express that love, which I do have and always have had within me, to those who matter the most.

I’m not starting with an empty plate. My father didn’t take that away from me. I have love within me, and I do love. And I suspect for most people who have been hurt, the love they have within them hasn’t been destroyed either. What is hurt is the mechanism or means by which we can express what we really do have inside…our love, our compassion, the deep caring we have for others to others in a way that makes them feel and know they are loved.

It’s a part of learning for everyone. But I think it’s especially poignant for survivors, because we haven’t been given much of a blueprint to follow.

Pondering this for the past few days, I realize that my mom really did love me…really did do the best she could. Often times, this “did the best they could” has a feeling of a cop out to me, like it diminishes their responsibility for the choices they made.

But from this place, it takes on a different light.

Maybe it’s because I’m becoming more insightful as I get older. But more likely, it’s because of my own growing awareness of how much love I felt and how much of it actually was conveyed was a lot further apart than I could have imagined. Sometimes a little personal experience can go a long way in taking you down a few notches.

But the view is really a lot better down here. Makes you more accessible for giving and receiving warm embraces when you’re down to earth.


About the Author

About the Author: Demian Yumei, author, singer/songwriter and artist activist, uses spoken, written word and original songs in her human rights activism. She's a long time traveler on the healing journey and has a lifelong love affair with the creative process. .


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